I have always thought, I was never afraid of anything. I was am a tomboy who is ready to try anything new or different. I am not afraid of heights or darkness. I never had stage fright or meeting new people. I was not afraid of exams thou when results are to be announced I could feel my butterflies waking from their sleep in my tummy. But that’s normal! Years of boarding life, made me love hostel life, so no fear in moving away from family too. I love speed and no amounts of accidents, or bruised knees or arms could keep me away from riding my two-wheeler or car. I thought I was scared of cockroaches, but 12thgrade Biology practical’s forced me to catch them alive, drug them and dissect them. And to my horror I was good in that and I loved doing that! So there ended my cockroach fear too.
So there I was living gloriously thinking that I don’t have fear for anything. But that came to end when I realized that I was afraid to get hurt emotionally. When life is going very happily and eventfully with friends and close ones as any other normal college going girl, with a pinch of “everything is perfect no one can make it imperfect attitude”, I lost a dear friend of my in an accident. And that was a blow to my arrogance. That made me conscious that life is not predictable. Anything can happen to you, me or the person next door. His going away, made me realize that I, who thought was not afraid of anything, was actually dreading his absence. I was not ready to accept the person who was with you this moment would never be visible again. I couldn’t accept that he won’t be there when we organize a reunion after 10 years. I took that fact so deeply and started to withdraw from everyone. I was in an impression that, if you’re not close to anyone, no one can hurt you. I literally closed down myself, and kept everyone at a safe distance.
Great insights! We can't allow fear to hinder us from enjoying every minute of the time we have with people right now. So glad you were able to discover that, and then to pass on the wisdom to your readers! Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
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Some have said that fear of death is the most fundamental, the most primal fear, the basis of all our fears. I hope we can all find inner courage to work around this fear. Thanks Sheethal for this thoughtful post.
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I have the same fear, among many other fears ofcourse… I think we all need to seize every moment and live to the fullest to ensure that our fears don't come true…
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Wow! That's amazing. I fear for the loss of ear ones too. I lost my favourite uncle three days back and I'm not sure how I'll be able to cope up with that. Thanks, for an insightful post. I'm sure he has some good memories of mine to take it with him…..
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I am afraid to get hurt too.. so, sometimes I curl up and don't let anyone in – not a good idea because its frustrating to friends and family..
Your post made me think…
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I know exactly what you mean. Thou I'm tagged as an extrovert, my close ones at times there's a wall around which I don't let anyone cross. But these days I try to break that and be more open.
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Yes, I am sure your uncle is so happy to have spend some wonderful years with you. 🙂 .. Hugs n loads f love. You're strong n you're going to cope up with that beautifully.
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I think we definitely should. Life which is not lived to the fullest is a life wasted.
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Thanks Beloo for reading. 🙂 … I too hope courage rules us rather than fear.
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Thanks for your words Laurel. 🙂
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Loss of loved ones is one of our biggest fear and I believe that must be the toughest fear to tame too!
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But one that should be tamed…
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I'm glad I read this because I am declaring my 2015 as a year of breakthroughs and boldness. 🙂
Hope to read more encouraging and motivating posts from you, Sheethal. Have a great new year!
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Thank you so much for reading. 🙂
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