I have always thought, I was never afraid of anything. I
was am a tomboy who is ready to try anything new or different. I am not afraid of heights or darkness. I never had stage fright or meeting new people. I was not afraid of exams thou when results are to be announced I could feel my butterflies waking from their sleep in my tummy. But that’s normal! Years of boarding life, made me love hostel life, so no fear in moving away from family too. I love speed and no amounts of accidents, or bruised knees or arms could keep me away from riding my two-wheeler or car. I thought I was scared of cockroaches, but 12thgrade Biology practical’s forced me to catch them alive, drug them and dissect them. And to my horror I was good in that and I loved doing that! So there ended my cockroach fear too.
So there I was living gloriously thinking that I don’t have fear for anything. But that came to end when I realized that I was afraid to get hurt emotionally. When life is going very happily and eventfully with friends and close ones as any other normal college going girl, with a pinch of “everything is perfect no one can make it imperfect attitude”, I lost a dear friend of my in an accident. And that was a blow to my arrogance. That made me conscious that life is not predictable. Anything can happen to you, me or the person next door. His going away, made me realize that I, who thought was not afraid of anything, was actually dreading his absence. I was not ready to accept the person who was with you this moment would never be visible again. I couldn’t accept that he won’t be there when we organize a reunion after 10 years. I took that fact so deeply and started to withdraw from everyone. I was in an impression that, if you’re not close to anyone, no one can hurt you. I literally closed down myself, and kept everyone at a safe distance.